Alchemist.Camp couldn't be deployed due to mysterious failures running Nanobox, even after reinstalling pretty much the entire toolchain, including the OS! (sorry about poor audio, mic drivers were another casualty).
Windows updates are the suspected culprit, so I put my machine into the new Windows 10
develper mode. I also set up a Ubuntu Virtual Box and set it up to share source code directories with Windows. Next up is setting up a server on Digital Ocean directly.